Thought I would give this another try. The Christmas season has crept up on me. I am kind of on auto pilot. I don't understand what I am feeling-- empty, sad, lonely. I have tried to talk to someone about it but they don't understand. They just tell my I am going through the grieving process and to just let myself go through it. I want to know what the heck is happening to me. Will this ever go away? Will I ever feel happy again?
Everything about Christmas reminds me of my dad. The tree, lights, games, even noodles reminds me. The other day I called in sick for work and I was home alone with silence. While I did dishes, I cried. While I vacuumed, I cried. While I rested, I cried. His memory won't leave me. Not that that is a bad thing but it is a place that feels heavy. At least being on auto pilot I can function.
Everything about Christmas reminds me of my dad. The tree, lights, games, even noodles reminds me. The other day I called in sick for work and I was home alone with silence. While I did dishes, I cried. While I vacuumed, I cried. While I rested, I cried. His memory won't leave me. Not that that is a bad thing but it is a place that feels heavy. At least being on auto pilot I can function.
0 comments:
Post a Comment