Dad Update

Well, I am still here in Utah with mom and dad. Dad has his good days and bad days. Today is a bad day. He hasn't eaten anything since Saturday and is still able to drink some things but not taking in a whole lot of fluids. His pain seems to mostly be controlled but he does get some cramping in his stomach and has a lot of gas that can't seem to be released.

The hospice nurse has been here and has some different things we can do for his pain. With the results from the ER visit they did the other day, it looks like the cancer is metastasized all throughout the pelvis area in and around the small bowel and rectum. He has the urge to bear down but I think that is the weight of the cancer in the lower pelvis.

We just take it a day at a time. He has found himself a little place by a creek down the street from Bryan's house that he likes to go to by himself and think/pray/cry. I think that is good for him. He gets on his little motorized scooter and zips on down there. He loves to smell the rain. He loves to watch the creek rush over the rocks and listen. He sure enjoys the beauties of the earth and looks at it with different eyes I think. I love him so much and don't know what to do for him but just sit silently by his side. I guess that is all I can do for now.

Lori

Lori Ashton - Jul 19, 2007
Another bad day today. He feels a slight bit better this afternoon. He is a little diaphoretic (sweating) tonight. I am a little uneasy about that. But he is still hanging in there. He doesn't like to talk too much and he closes his eyes when he is done talking, that's kind of our signal to "get out of here." He has slept most of the day today and yesterday with little bouts of alertness. We haven't been pushing him to get up as the hospice nurse just told him to do what his body tells him to do. We did get him in for a shower today but that just about did him in. Well, I guess that is the latest.

Lori

Lori Ashton - Jul 22, 2007
Well, he is still hanging in there. He isn't able to drink much anymore as he is very nauseated and has been throwing up bile. He is able to keep his pain medicines down but I wonder if that is taking a toll on his stomach. It is really a catch 22. Nausea or pain? I am hoping that his body will give out soon. He was slightly delirious yesterday and last night as I think his body wasn't able to metabolize his pain medicines as well. He told me that he was in Joseph City, Texas picking cotton. I hate seeing him like that. He is more alert today. He is still hungry but when we offer, he looks at us and says, "You know I can't eat that." Like we are trying to poison him or something.

This is really a hard thing to watch and be around, sometimes I just want to scream!! This morning I had a dream that his spirit came and hugged me so tight and I said, "I love you dad." I woke up with a start knowing without a doubt that he must have passed, but when I got up to check, there he was and when he felt me staring at him, he popped open his eyes and scared the heck out of me.

Bryan slept by his side all night and said that every little rattle-y breath he heard he woke up to check on dad. Bryan is so tired today. I guess we are all to learn patience on the Lord through this.

Becki, we saw Ericka last night. She came over and saw everyone. I guess her friend Jenny was working so she wasn't able to get with her. Ericka seemed quite surprised to see dad in the state he is in although she didn't say anything about it. She was so sweet as we talked while I took her over to Payson. She said that she was very grateful that she was able to come and see dad.

Anyway, thought you would like an update. I know when I was in Arizona, I was calling every day wanting to know what was going on.

Becki Vernon - Jul 22, 2007
Thank you for the updates. I wish I could be there to help out. I know you all are going through some difficult times being so close and knowing everything that is happening. It's hard not being there and not knowing--so thank you for thinking of us and letting us know what's up.
Erika told me she was able and happy to see some of you. Thanks for driving her back to Payson Lori.
Our thoughts and prayers are with each of you for comfort and strength.
Love ya'll,
becki and family

India Williams - Jul 24, 2007
My prayers and thoughts are with all of you today. The process of dying is not an easy one for anyone whether it is sudden or prolonged. I think it is hardest on us who are left behind.
Lori, I heard my father scream with the rending of the soul when Ronald die. I will never forget that sound. All of us who have experienced the process of death know that feeling and often have heard that sound come from our own throats.
Bryan, I slept with my mother when Ronald die.....it was a helpless feeling not knowing what to do or say. I whispered in her ear loving words. Letting go is so very hard and rending. Paula and Becky slept with mother as well. That physical closeness can not be replaced.
I am so thankful that my brother is surrounded by love not only by those on this earth but by the angels that now comfort him. The family that can not come up send all their prays in your behalf. Love to all, Aunt Bunny