I Hate a New Year

A new year means resolutions. I hate resolutions. I always set all kinds of goals to accomplish and by January 3rd, I have already broken every resolution I made, so I end up spending the rest of the year mad at myself. I have really been trying hard the last few days to push the thought of resolutions to the back of my mind. Then I did it today, I went to church.....

I heard all of these ladies talking about a clean slate and making goals and how it helps them be better wives and mothers (yeah, yeah). So I am bothered to the point of posting my New Year's Resolutions here:

1. I resolve to stop eating at my desk (a student came in about a month ago and said, "Every time I come in here, you are eating something. You'd better stop doing that or you're gonna get FAT!") I do, however, reserve the right to stress eat as necessary.

2. I resolve to limit myself to one Diet Coke per day. I will, however, allow myself the choice of having a second depending upon how bad my day is.

3. I promise to stop finding fault with my husband, with one exception. My fault finding (nagging) will be allowed if it will avoid a car wreck, a speeding ticket, a morning of no clean laundry, a future adverse life changing event in one of our offspring's life, or a fight.

4. I resolve to be better at reading scriptures as a family as long as it doesn't interfere with my sleep in the morning.

5. I resolve to stop yelling at my kids only if there is a fire or someone's life or homework is in danger. I also reserve the right to yell whenever I feel it necessary.

6. I resolve to reserve my cussing for the road to stupid drivers.

7. I resolve to be a better school nurse and stop telling my frequent fliers that I need to actually see them throw up before I send them home.

8. I resolve to be a better housekeeper if my kids pick up after themselves.

9. I resolve to be better at making time to talk to my mom on the phone as long as she stops calling when I am taking a nap.

10. I resolve to do all of these things for the whole year.