{A Day in the Life of a Kidney Donor} Walking on Water

Right after Jesus fed the 5,000, the people that witnessed that miracle wanted to make Him their king by force.  Jesus told his disciples to get on a ship out into the Sea of Galilee and he would go off alone, by himself.  From the shore, Jesus watched his disciples "toil" when a storm began in the evening and then by the fourth watch, which was about 3 a.m., he finally went out to meet them, walking on the water. 

The Savior stood by and watched them "toil."  Sometimes I think He lets us struggle to see what we will do and to strengthen us.  He then called out to Peter and Peter stepped out.  He was doing it, he was walking on the water with his Master.  He saw the miracle.  It was incredible, but the wind whipped around his hair and he felt the waves against his body and began to doubt.  He started to sink and cried out and Jesus IMMEDIATELY reached out his hand and lifted him up, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

This is me today...of little faith.  I saw the miracle that happened yesterday.  I couldn't doubt it.  But today as I met with the kidney donation team...I began to doubt.  I was informed that my mom was in a very great position.  She is at the top of the donation list and she could most likely get a cadaver kidney in the next few months.  If I give her a kidney and if fails, she will have to go back down to the bottom of the list.  It has taken her 3 years to get to this point.  If she gets a cadaver kidney and it fails, she goes right back up to the top of the list again.  Also, if she could get a kidney within a few months, why should I put myself and the rest of my 40 years of life left in jeopardy?

I began to sink sitting there in the doctor's office...feeling the waves and the wind around me.  Confusion came in.  I asked the surgeon for his recommendation and he said she has two great options, me and being at the top of the list...either way is a good situation for her.  But since she has about a 78% chance to get a kidney in the next 6 months and she is in good health, it was his recommendation that I wait and be her backup. 

As I left the hospital, I thought about how Jesus asked his mother at the wedding when she was needing wine(according to the JST) Woman, what wilt thou have me to do for thee? that will I do.  Likewise to the Brother of Jared He said What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels?  He was asking them to study it out in their minds and pick the best solution and that is what He would do.

He wants me to study it out in my mind and pick the best solution. 

I have decided to wait...